Tell Your Inner Perfectionist to Get Lost! Tips for Slaying the Saboteur

“Perfect would be so boring and predictable.” 


photo cred: Anna War Hier

Hello gorgeous! Today we’re tackling that nasty saboteur of dreams. The one that snatches your heart’s deepest desires right our from under your nose, like a thief in the night.  The ugly betrayer of your inner badass, known as perfectionism.

Having coached and mentored hundreds of clients and students over the past 10 years- one theme emerges over and over again. Perfectionism. This little bitch of an affliction has overcome even the fiercest and most fabulous of mortals.

As a recovering over achiever, good girl, perfectionist myself, I understand it isn’t so much about looking like a super model, making millions, dressing to the nines, or keeping up with the Kardashian’s– as it is the notion that you should {stop shoulding all over yourself already will ya?} be anything other than YOU. That you should follow someone else’s rules. Fit into someone else’s mold {or skinny jeans}. Or follow someone else’s path. {Freaking blaze your own, pal.}

The next time you’re aware of that self-sabatoging little imp of a demon rearing it’s ugly head, refer to this trusty list of tips to help transition out of “I suck.”  – into “I’m a total bitchin’ rockstar from Mars.” {Cuz let’s be honest – you is, and thanks to Charlie Sheen for that fabulous catchphrase.}

Get Present & Get Outside – When we start to get tweaky and freaky and dark and twisty about not being/having/doing enough, it’s usually because we’re replaying an old tape from a past experience, or we’re freaking out about a future scenario that hasn’t unfolded yet. When you start to notice your thoughts are bouncing off the walls of your mind like monkey’s at the zoo, get outside – fast.

If you can bare your feet all the better. Nothing helps ground us better than getting our feet on the earth and getting our noggin’s outta the clouds. Next time you find yourself entangled in a tryst with your psyche, sit your cute lil fanny down on a park bench, a curb, a quiet nook outside your office, or take a brisk stroll and get some fresh air. Tuning into nature and coming back to the NOW helps zap that ugly noise and can shift your attitude, boost your mood and re-energize you quicker than slamming a can of Red Bull.

{Up your “Get Present” game & read – Eckart Tolle’s The Power of Now}

Stop the Comparison Game – Half the reason we think there is a “perfect” in the first place is because we’re holding ourselves up to someone else and saying, “Yeah but I don’t look like, write like, create art like, sing like, charm like, sell like, run like, {you pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down?} him/her/it/they. Knock it OFF already! There is no “perfect”. There is simply OTHER than. Different from. Not the same as. Just do YOU. Rock it out. Turn a page. Move along.

Or as my friend and author of The Finch Effect: The Five Strategies to Adapt and Thrive in Your Working Life@NacieCarson wrote in this post about “swimming in the sea of sameness” and this very topic –

“Be the lighthouse”.

Sometimes it’s Just Not a Fit – We’re talking relationships, friendships, internships, job opportunities, artistic endeavors, the starring role, the lead singer, the insert object of desire here. People hold on so tightly to the notion, “This job {guy/girl/house/opportunity} is PERFECT for me. I just KNOW this one’s for me.” And then when they don’t get it, a downward spiral of self loathing and ill feelings erupt.

Truth? Sometimes it’s just not a fit. We don’t always get feedback, or the closure we’d like. People often ask me, “What can I do differently next time? How can I change my (personal style, interview responses, resume) to get the next job?” The answer is maybe you shouldn’t. There isn’t always a tweak or a change you should make. You just need to consistently show up and be YOU.

Show off your strengths, own your weaknesses, highlight your wins and showcase your abilities. But if you keep tweaking and “fixing” what one person/recruiter/employer/girl/guy doesn’t get/like/want, you might miss out on the best opportunity by showing up as someone other than your {im-perfectly} flawed self. Honestly, you likely are a fit, but for someone or something else.

Stay consistently YOU.

Just DO it – Procrastination is a bitch of a symptom that everyone who has ever battled a round with the perfectionist monster knows too well. When we’re consciously or unconsciously afraid of taking it to the next level or upping our game – or hell just showing up – perfectionism shows up as procrastination {don’t I know it…this post has been in the works for weeks}. We simply AVOID doing the thing we actually need to do to up our game, create our thing, do our work.

In his powerhouse {little sliver of a book} The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative BattlesSteven Pressfield shares motivations and inspiration for rolling up our sleeves and getting down to the business of “doing” our life’s work:

“It’s better to be in the arena, getting stomped by the bull, than to be up in the stands or out in the parking lot.”

“The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying.”

“Our job in this life is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.”

We could all take a cue from one of my favorite Evokateur’s of all time, the gorgeous Pink, as she flips her finger at the dragon called Perfect and says, “Raise your glass if you are wrong. In all the right ways!” Let’s be honest…we’re ALL wrong and yet…oh. so. right.


photo cred:

{Just for giggles see if you identify with some famous real life and fictional perfectionists we all know and love.}

Can you dig? What did you find helpful in this article? Show some love on the Facebook page, drop a comment below or please share with your favorite peeps! xxxo ~Kammie



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