Confidence is Sexy – 7 Steps to Amp Your Confidence

“Insist on yourself; never imitate.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Contrary to popular notions of using The Art of Seduction (or more accurately becoming a “Natural”) to get what you want, I’d love to challenge YOU to be more authentic when seeking out ways to cultivate your own confidence. I’m not disputing that some of those things won’t work like magic…but YOU can do better than seduction. You can be REAL.

Think of someone you know in real life {we’re not talking celebs here – they already get enough props, promo & papparazzi} that embodies the word CONFIDENCE. Got a picture of this person? I’m willing to bet that besides being great at whatever he/she does {job, work, professionally, life, what haves ya} they also are one or more of the following:

Curious – Confidence is CURIOUS. About LIFE. About OTHER people. About the WORLD around it. Confidence isn’t about being a self absorbed a-hole. Confidence ASKS lots of questions. Confidence isn’t all “Me, me, me…My, my, my”. Confidence asks, “Why do YOU do what you do?” “How long have you been doing that?” “What got you interested in it?” “Who do you admire that does what you do?” “Where can I learn more about that if I’m interested?”

Flirtatious – Confidence is a FLIRT and doesn’t discriminate. Confidence flirts with the UNIVERSE. With the scrappy mut down the street. The grocery clerk. The vendors at the farmers market. The cranky ol’ curmudgeon next door. Confidence dances with cougars at wedding receptions and holds the door for random strangers. Confidence looks them ALL in the eye and grins from ear to ear. Confidence doesn’t hmmm & haw. Confidence asks that sexy stranger at the bookstore out for coffee and passes it’s number to the quirky cutie at the bar. Confidence has grande cajones & nerves of steel.

Mysterious – Confidence doesn’t put all of its cards on the table. Nuh-uh. Confidence has a champion poker face. Confidence understands the beauty of a pregnant pause. Confidence looks you in the eye, smiles slyly and then walks out for the room {without looking back}. Confidence has a PhD in the Art of Delayed Gratification. Confidence is patient and understands that planting the seed happens before plowing the crops. Confidence doesn’t try to land a hubs or wifey on the first date, nor get the job/client in the initial phone call.

Connected – Confidence has a community.  A trust circle and a support system to nurture & raise it up when it gets down, to brainstorm ideas with, to request honest feedback from. Confidence actively CONTRIBUTES to its community. Confidence goes to GIVE – doesn’t chant “gimme gimme gimme” or ask “what have you done for ME lately”. Confidence maintains multiple channels of communication with its community & seeks out ways it can help support, nurture and hook-up its comrades.

Authentic – Confidence ain’t perfect {and neither is my grammar ya’ll}. Confidence let’s its OWN light shine and doesn’t participate in apples vs. oranges shenanigans. Confidence knows how to work its quirk. Confidence keeps it real and isn’t afraid to show us frustration, pain, anger, compassion, joy, or geekiness. Confidence has the COURAGE to stand up for what it believes in. Confidence knows who it is and who it isn’t and doesn’t apologize for it. Confidence is clever, clear, concise, and consistent.

Now– Confidence lives in the NOW. It dances in the moment and dives in pools of present possibilities. Confidence ain’t cryin over “what was” yesterday and isn’t freaking out about “what might happen” tomorrow. Confidence is RICH in intuition and well versed in the language of success, beauty, creativity and abundance. Confidence focuses on creating magic moment to moment. Confidence lives life NOW.

Love – Confidence is religious about worshiping at the altar of LOVE. Confidence GIVES it freely and accepts it openly. Confidence is your brother and your sister. Your mother and your father. Your wicked step-monster-mother-in-law and your precious bebe. Confidence wears a rainbow colored t-shirt, rose colored glasses and proudly flaunts its tattoo’d shoulder that reads “One LOVE”. Confidence is every activist, volunteer, entreprenuer, worker bee, grounds keeper and executive.

Confidence is SEXY.

Confidence is YOU.

Go get ’em tiger!

Peace, love & bringin’ the REAL sexy back,


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